Tell Me I'm the Only One
by Halawen
Summary: Clare and Owen have been happily married for seven years. When Clare interviews budding author Eli and there's a mutual attraction Clare gives into her carnal instincts. What will she do now? Will Owen find out? Can Eli be happy with a tryst? Based on Fatal Instinct. A/U future fic please read A/Ns.
1. Straight is the Gate Narrow is the

**Welcome to this new short story and thanks to everyone that voted!**

**This is dedicated to SimGirl as she requested the story.**

**First the legal stuff: I do not own and am not associated with Epitome, DeGrassi, Fatal Attraction or Parmount Pictures.**

**All the important things to know before reading:**

***This is based on the movie Fatal Attraction, I'm flipping things a little bit.**

***This is an A/U future fic. **

***Clare and Adam have been best friends since childhood.**

***Clare and Owen met in college, there is no DeGrassi.**

***The entire story will be told in Clare's POV.**

**That should do it, the rest will be revealed in the story. I hope you all enjoy this first chapter.**

**Ch. 1 Straight is the Gate, Narrow is The Walkway**

Releasing a sigh as I look at the picture of my family sitting on my desk, and wishing my husband would come home.

I've been happily married for the last seven years, and have a beautiful son that turned four last month. I love my husband and my son very much, I just don't get to see them very much. Owen is on the road a lot, he's a pro hockey player with the Maple Leaf's, and so he's gone for training two weeks a year for pre-season training. Then out on the road for games almost all season, and sometimes after the season for various things. Lucian is a wonderful child, but with my job as a journalist (there was no way Asher was going to stop me from becoming a journalist), I can't always take care of him when Owen is on the road. Right now he's with Owen's parents, and I'll pick him up tomorrow, I hope. My job often means some pretty crazy hours, which works great when Owen isn't on the road. Not so well when he is. I don't do a lot of traveling, at least not traveling far. However, I can be working until after midnight when there's a deadline, or attending events until all hours. Thankfully, Owen's parents love to babysit, especially as my parents no longer live in the city.

"Clare," Amber, my boss calls to me, "I need you to read this."

"In his grasp?" I question looking at the novel she handed me. The cover is dark other than the raised silver lettering and a sinister looking pair of eyes. "I don't generally read horror novels," I remark setting the book on my desk.

"Just published by a promising young author, his manager sent me the book and this packet," she comments setting that on my desk. "We have an exclusive with the author, we'll do a feature next issue and I'm giving it to you."

Amber turns and starts walking back to her office. I look through the packet, basic information such as his name, age, interests, his contact information. It includes other things he's published; short stories and essays mostly in magazines, graphic novels, story collections. The last thing in the packet is an 8x10 black and white photo of the author himself. He's very attractive, dark hair, a sweet smile, and his eyes, even in a black and white photo his eyes capture me. There's just something about them, something I can't explain just now.

I take the book and the packet and go home, I have the option to work from home. I do take advantage of it, though I generally get more work done at the office. Especially if Owen and/or Lucian is home, it's often hard to get work done with them here. Today however, both are gone and I have a book to read, something that's much easier to do at a quiet house.

I turn off the alarm, unlock the door and step inside slipping off my shoes. I take my purse, the packet and set them on the coffee table by the sofa. I get some water and then sit down to read the book. I really don't like horror novels, but Mr. Goldsworthy is a very talented writer. It's also not just any horror novel, there's a wonderful story arc and complex characters. Each character has a background and is written so well I imagine them all as real people. The story is suspenseful, and keeps me reading. I finish the entire book in a little over an hour, and pick up the packet to find Mr. Goldsworthy's contact information.

"Hello?"

"Elijah Goldsworthy?"

"Yes."

"This is Clare Milligan with Today in Toronto."

"Of course, my manager told me to expect a call from your publication. He said he just sent over the book and the packet today, told me to expect a call tomorrow at the earliest."

"I'm a fast reader, I just finished your book. I'd like to schedule an interview with you."

"How about now? You can come to my place," he offers.

"Sure, what's the address?"

He gives me the address and I put it in my phone. I grab my purse, his book and packet , put my shoes back on and put his address into the GPS in my car. He lives in the Distillery District, it's very popular with young artists. I have to park on the street and the building has a security door, I find the buzzer for Mr. Goldsworthy, press the button and the door buzzes open. He's on the fourth floor, the building is a converted factory and has one of those open elevators, kind of like an old cargo elevator.

It's easy to find his apartment, he's leaning on the doorjamb, one foot up on it, one arm keeping the door open. He has on black boots, black skinny jeans, a black button up shirt with the top few buttons open. His dark hair looks exactly as it did in his picture, his eyes are even more captivating in person. This fascinating forest of green color that seem to sparkle when he sees me. His lips curl into this scintillating sexy smirk, and I bite my lower lip inadvertently.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, it's nice to meet you," I smile.

"Call me Eli, even my father doesn't go by Mr. Goldsworthy. Please, come in," he says stepping inside and holding the door open for me. His loft apartment is fairly small, but very open, the only thing walled off is the washroom and even that has walls of shaded glass. "Can I get you something? Coffee? Tea? Water?" Eli offers.

"Coffee would be nice," I smile back.

"Make yourself comfortable or look around," Eli tells me.

I walk around the living room, he has a lot of books, typical of any writer, and a large collection of comic books. His predilection for black extends beyond his clothing, his walls are painted black, and most of his furniture seems to be black or grey. He has very few pictures up, I do find one that seems to be Eli with his parents. Another from high school it looks like, Eli with a girl, she has long dark hair and is dressed all in black. I don't see any recent picture of the two, it's curious that he has a picture with his high school girlfriend still up and nothing recent. His bed has black and grey bedding, it's unmade, and there's an open book on it.

"The sofa will probably be the most comfortable, I don't really use the table," Eli comments coming over with a tray. The tray has two cups of coffee on it, cream and sugar. The table Eli mentioned is about the only thing that's not black in the apartment. It's red, vintage from the 50s or early 60s, but has no chairs.

"This is fine, I'll tape the interview if that's okay?" I ask opening the voice recorder app on my phone.

"Yes, fine," Eli nods handing me a cup of coffee.

"When did you begin writing?" I inquire, mixing some cream and sugar into my coffee.

"As soon as I could pick up a pencil. Even before that I suppose, I was making up stories in preschool according to my parents. When did you start writing?" Eli questions. He puts some cream in his coffee but no sugar.

"I'm interviewing you remember?"

"It's just a question, the most beautiful woman I've seen comes to my door, shares my love of writing, and I want to know about her," Eli smirks. That smirk is dangerous, I wonder how many women have fallen for it over the years. His words, his smirk, the way he looks at me, I blush and bite my lip.

"My parents tell me I was making up stories as soon as I could speak. I was reading at three, typing on the computer in my dad's office when he wasn't using it. I saw that you published some poems in a collected work your freshman year of high school. The following year you published a short horror story in a graphic novel. Have you always written horror and macabre?"

"No, not always. My girlfriend Julia," he says motioning to the portrait I saw earlier, "was killed in the summer between my freshman and sophomore years. It changed everything, my writing, who I was, my favorite color. If you have been making up stories since you could talk why go into journalism? Doesn't seem like there's much creativity in journalism."

"True, but I haven't entirely given up the creative side of writing. I write poems and short stories still, they get published in the magazine. I submit them and write them under a pseudonym. The death of your girlfriend must have been devastating, was that what inspired the short story you had published in a graphic novel?"

"Yes, it went through many revisions before I finally published it. I suppose that was my true first dip in the suspenseful macabre pool. I've read everything Poe has ever written, studied it intensely, I know them all by heart. You never answered my question; why go into journalism?"

"There's not an easy answer to that one. It's a long complex answer, I don't wish to bore you and have you fall asleep during the interview," I tell him pausing for a sip of coffee.

"Nothing from those exquisitely beautiful lips could be boring."

"Some other time Eli," I respond setting my coffee cup down and he smirks. "Your novel is full of complex characters, are they based on real people?"

"In a way, all the characters in my book are amalgamations of the people I know. Each one carries a little piece of me of course. I never fully base a character in my book on someone I know, if they read it and don't like the character or they way they were portrayed it would ruin a friendship or relationship. The character of Emiline for instance, her caring nature, but tough as nails exterior comes from my mother. Her curiosity and propensity for trouble come from my younger cousin. Her fiery temper comes from my ex-girlfriend, and her physical appearance is a little mixture of them all. What's your favorite genre of book?"

"When I was really young it was fantasy, I suppose every girl dreams of being the princess. I love mysteries, and science fiction, those have been my top two since junior high probably. Where did the idea for the book come from?"

"The story idea came from a couple of places. I came up with the villain's character first, I was working on something else, and the vision of the villain came into my head. I worked backwards from the way the villain looked, to the backstory for that character and their personality, including how they would kill. After that, the plot just sort of built itself, and I came up with the other characters. How long have you been married?" Eli asks looking at my wedding ring.

"Almost seven years. You said your characters have different aspects of the people you know; does that include the villain in this story?"

"Yes, the worst parts of people I know, and a few of the best too. That includes myself, I told you I put a little piece of myself into every character. Are you happily married?"

"We have a four-year-old son. D…"

"Having a child doesn't make it a happy marriage, you didn't answer my question."

"Owen and I are very happily married," I assert, and then my stomach growls. "Sorry, I haven't eaten since breakfast, I went home and read straight through your book."

"There's a great little restaurant just downstairs, there's private booths and we can continue the interview over an early dinner. You should really eat," Eli says standing up.

"I am hungry, and I suppose we both need to eat dinner."

I grab my phone and my purse and follow Eli out of his building. As he said, downstairs and a couple doors over is a Thai restaurant, Eli must eat here a lot because they welcome him by name. He requests a private booth and they take us back to one.

"The forward in your book hails you as the next Stephen King, how does that make you feel?"

"It's a lot to live up to, I'm not sure really. James is a friend of my father's he's known me a long time, and of course those forwards are always meant to be glowing. What's your son's name?"

"Lucian, it comes from a book I read when I was young. A romance mystery novel that I had been given as a gift for my tenth birthday by my aunt. It wasn't that steamy, but it was a good story, starting when the ingénue was my age at the time. The boy next door in the story was named Lucian, he was kind and caring, chivalrous, and the picture I had of him in my mind stuck with me. An ideal I suppose, but I always said if I had a son he'd be named Lucian. Your father he's a shock rock DJ?"

"Hi Eli, what can I get you and your lovely date to drink?" A waitress asks coming into the little room where our booth is.

"A bottle of your best chardonnay," Eli says and then looks at me, "you do like white wine don't you?"

"Yes, white wine is my favorite."

"Do you need a few minutes to look at the menu?" The waitress asks while jotting down that we want a bottle of wine.

"I eat here all the time, I can order for us. Is there anything you don't like or are allergic to?" Eli asks. I shake my head and he gives the waitress our order. "Yes, my dad is a syndicated radio host, he and my mom used to live in town. Recently they moved to Vancouver to take care of my grandmother. What's your husband do?"

"He plays with the Maple Leafs, Owen Milligan. Are there other writers in your family?"

"I know my mom did some writing in high school and college, poems mostly. I don't think there are any other writers though, not like me. At least, no one else tried to make a career of it. I don't watch sports, is he good?" Eli asks as the waitress brings our bottle of wine and pours us each a glass.

"He's professional, he's one of the best players on the team. I'm very proud of him and it's afforded us a very comfortable life, but he's gone a lot during the season. He leaves for two weeks a month or so before the season for training. After the season for shoots, and charity work, commercials. Do you have plans for another book?"

"I have my next villain, working on the plot, but it's pretty far from a finished idea. What do you enjoy besides writing?"

The interview continues this way all through dinner and a full bottle of wine. I ask him a question about his book, he asks me a question about my personal life. He pays for dinner and I follow him back to his apartment.

"I think I have everything I need, thanks for the i…"

My sentence is cut off when Eli crushes his lips to mine. The kiss is sudden, passionate, strong, yearning and takes my breath away. Whether it's the shock of the kiss or the intensity of it my mind goes completely blank. Reacting on instinct alone I loop my arms around his neck and part my lips for him. Eli smiles into the kiss and picks me up, he takes me to his bed lying me down and my legs open. His hand goes between my leg, up my skirt and under my panties. His finger slips into my slit evoking a quivering breath from my lips.

In the very back of my mind I know I should stop this now, but I don't. I don't know why I don't, why I give in, but I do. Eli deepens the kiss, working another finger into me, I moan against his lips. He breaks the kiss and removes his fingers from inside me, I whimper slightly at the loss. Eli puts my legs together and tugs my panties down, his head disappears between my legs, his tongue going inside of me and I moan arching my back.

While his tongue licks inside my core he uses his thumb to rub my clit. I moan and writhe, my body quivering, and the build to orgasm growing. It isn't long before I feel I can't take anymore and I beg Eli to make me cum. He adds two fingers into my slit and quickly brings me to orgasm. While I'm still panting and recovering from orgasm Eli gets up and quickly gets naked. I release a breath and he gets back between my legs, his cock at my opening, he takes my lips again as he thrusts in.

He's not nearly as big as Owen, but he lifts my legs and goes in deep. He thrusts fast and hard, kissing me passionately. I scratch along his back with my nails wrapping my legs around his waist. He supports himself with one hand and his knees, his other hand softly fondles my breasts. Already sensitive I'm brought to yet another orgasm, I scream out and tremble as I hit climax. Eli pulls out while I'm recovering, forcing a whimper from my lips and I begin to curl up. He takes my shoes off, then my skirt, he rips my blouse off and then turns me over getting my bra off.

He turns me on my side, gets on his knees and lifts one of my legs as high as it will go. He straddles my other leg, and thrusts in. This is a position I've never done, Eli hits places I didn't know about. I feel another orgasm coming, the tickle building in my depths and becoming almost unbearable. I grip onto Eli, my nails scratching down his arm, and his back. I call his name with every breathless moan, my body quivers and trembles, and I move my hips in tandem with his movements. This time Eli releases with me, I feel his seed shooting into me and he makes a guttural grunt. He thrusts a few more times, pulling out and lying on his back.

"That was amazing," Eli says breathlessly. I can't respond, all I can do is nod while panting, but I'm now exhausted and find my eyes closing. "You should spend the day with me tomorrow," Eli says quietly as he gently caresses my arm.

"Hmm? Mmmm," I mumble half asleep.

I fall asleep to Eli caressing my arm and back, and wake very early the next morning. In Eli's bed, his arm over me, and all the guilt, all the thoughts and alarms in my head that should have fired off last night now go off. I'm sick with guilt, and suddenly become panicked to get out of here. Carefully getting out from under Eli's arm and holding my breath as he stirs a little. He rolls over without waking up, I quietly release the breath I was holding and begin picking up my clothes. I can't really go anywhere private in this apartment, so I go to the living room, by the sofa. I get dressed as quietly as I can, my blouse is ripped, so I tie it together and put my sweater on. Then, retrieving my things I leave Eli's apartment as quietly, and as quickly as possible. My phone is dead, when I turn on my car I see that it's nearly four in the morning. I drive home as fast as I can, placing my phone on the charging pad by my bed.

It's too early to call Owen, too early to call his parents, too early to go into the office. I could get in, but I don't want to be there alone at this hour. The building is secure, and there is always the possibility someone else is there working to finish by deadline. None the less I don't want to go in at this hour, if someone does see me they'll wonder why I'm there so early. I've stayed this late, I've never gone in this early.

I definitely can't get back to sleep, so I sit down and begin working on my article. I write fast, the words flowing from my mind to my fingertips, almost too fast for me to keep up with. I have the entire article written in less than an hour, actually it's three times longer than it needs to be. I'll leave it for Amber to edit, she can condense it down or make it a three-part feature. I e-mail her the article, and look at the clock. It's not quite five, but Owen should be up soon.

I return to the bedroom and retrieve my phone, it's nearly fully charged and when I turn it back on I find two missed calls and a few missed texts from Owen. I have one missed call from his mom and several missed texts from Adam. Too early call the others, but I call Owen, even if I wake him up I'm sure he won't mind. The phone rings a few times before he finally answers.

"Hey Gorgeous, you must have been working hard yesterday."

**Chapter 2 is up now!**


	2. Throwing Ashes in the Pixie Dust

**Hope you enjoyed chapter one!**

**Ch. 2 Throwing Ashes In The Pixie Dust**

"Uh, yeah I had this book to read and an article to write on the author. Sorry I missed your call, I stayed at the office late to get some work done. My phone died at my desk, I came home and put my phone on the charger, but I fell asleep. I hope I didn't worry you," I ramble an apology and hope he doesn't realize I'm sort of lying and holding back..

"No, I figured you were caught up in work, the way you get. How's Lucian?"

"Still at your parents, I lost track of time last night, I didn't call them and it's too early too call now. How was the game last night?"

"We won, and we're leaving for Anaheim tomorrow night."

"Anaheim? When's your next home game?"

"If we beat Anaheim then I'll be home next weekend."

"I'm sure you'll beat them, you're the best," I reply forcing a smile onto my lips, so that he'll hear it in my voice.

"I have to get ready, we have breakfast and practice soon. Video chat tonight?"

"Yeah, text me later. I love you," I tell Owen. I mean it, I love Owen with all my heart, what happened last night is something he can never know about.

"I love you too," Owen says and hangs up.

I feel suddenly sick, having spoken to my husband, heard his voice, heard him tell me he loves me, I feel nothing but guilt. I go into the washroom and turn on the shower, the warm water feels good, but does nothing to clear my head. Instead I start thinking about Owen, the times we've spent in this shower. Then, for whatever reason, my mind takes me back to last night and thinking about Eli. I get out of the shower quickly, turning off the water and wrapping a towel around me. I hear my cell phone ringing in the bedroom, I run in and pick it up. I didn't look at the caller ID, I thought it was Owen's parents.

"Hello?"

"Where'd you go?" Eli questions, his voice is laced with hurt and wanting at the same time. "I thought you were going to spend the day with me?" His voice is full of hope and yearning.

"I don't think that's a good idea Eli, I'm a happily married woman. Last night was…"

"Amazing," Eli says cutting me off.

"Well, yes b…"

"Spend the day with me Clare. Don't tell me you have to go into work, you're a journalist, tell them you have another story to work on. Tell them you need to interview me some more, whatever it takes. It's just the day, I'm not asking you to run off with me, just come spend the day."

I bite my lip rolling it between my teeth, considering his proposition. I know it's wrong, I know I shouldn't, but there's a part of me that very much wants to.

"I'll call you back in a moment," I tell Eli and hang up. A voice in the back of my mind, a voice that sounds very much like Owen, tells me not to call him back. To get dressed and go into work, and ignore Eli's calls. Even as this voice censures me I call his parents.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sherri, I didn't wake you did I?"

"No Dear, I was just getting up and about to put on coffee."

"Good, I'm sorry I didn't call last night I got very caught up in work. How's Lucian?"

"Wonderful, he had a great time yesterday. He's such a happy little boy, you know we love having him here. Did you get all your work done?"

"Actually no, I'm working on a feature. If it's not too much trouble could you keep him again?"

"Of course Honey, you get you're work done and don't worry at all about Lucian. We'll take good care of him, he wanted to go to the zoo today."

"Thanks, hug him for me, I'll come get him tonight, maybe tomorrow." I say goodbye to my mother-in-law and hang up, then immediately call Eli. "Where should I meet you?"

"Come to my place again."

"I'll be there in an hour," I reply and hang up.

I call the office and tell them I'm following a lead and I'm not sure when or if I'll be in. I follow leads a lot, sometimes for several days, and they don't always lead to a story. I simply have to check in with work a couple times so they know I'm alive. I get dressed and ready for anything, unsure of what Eli has planned. My mind must be compartmentalizing because I don't think of Owen or Lucian at all as I drive to Eli's place. I don't even have to buzz his apartment, Eli is waiting for me outside the apartment.

"Come," he says holding out his hand.

I take his hand, he puts his arm around me and we walk down the street. We spend all morning visiting these little art galleries, and then we go to this wonderful bookshop, filled with old books. There's a café attached and that's where we have lunch. We walk back through a park and then go up to his apartment. He makes us coffee and reads me some of his earliest writings. Some of them are very sad, like the poems and short stories he wrote just after Julia died. The last thing he reads me is quite different from everything else.

"That was a very scintillating poem, did you write it for Julia?" I ask as he sets the paper down.

"I wrote it for you, this morning," Eli tells me and I bite my lip. "I'm going to put you in my next story, if it's alright with you of course. I want you to be the love interest, a beautiful, sexy, brilliant writer."

"I thought you said that your characters were all bits and pieces of people you knew. That you never based a character on a single person before?"

"I never have before, but you're different Clare, you inspire me like no one ever has. I could write an entire book about you."

I blush and bite my lip, Eli leans forward brushing a curl behind my ear as his lips overtake mine. I release my lip with a breath as I relax into the kiss. I grip the back of his neck and he leans me back on the sofa. His tongue sliding in between my lips and his hand lifting up my shirt and caressing my skin gently. I quiver and my muscles tighten, his hand glides up my skin and under my bra. He squeezes my breast gently, I moan into the kiss and he pulls his hand away breaking the kiss.

"Let's move to the bed," Eli says standing up.

I just nod and follow him, there's no alarms in my head, no voices telling me this is a bad idea. If there are they are being silenced by my instinct and carnal desire. I follow Eli to his bed and he lies me down, he gets me undressed and then undresses himself. He gets on the bed, kissing up my leg as he gets into position. He thrusts right in, hard and commanding and I make a moaning whimper. We spend all afternoon in bed, he brings me to orgasm three times. By early evening I'm spent and exhausted, and also starving.

"Let's make some dinner, after that workout I should at least feed you," Eli smiles.

"Thanks I'm starving, but I'm not sure I can stand just yet," I reply.

"Take your time, I'll get things started, just come out naked," Eli says placing a soft kiss on my breast.

He gets up and goes into the kitchen naked. I lie in the bed a few more minutes before standing. We make chicken in a white wine sauce with green beans and rice. It's quite good, and we eat naked at the table.

"I'll help you clean," I offer taking my dishes to the sink.

"No, we can do that later, come back to bed, we have all night," Eli says turning me around to take my lips.

"Eli, I'm exhausted after that and I have to go pick up my son," I remind him.

"No, stay the night with me again, we belong together Clare."

"Eli I'm married, I have a son, you knew that. I have a life, one I can't drop after a tryst, fun and thrilling though it was, it was a mistake," I tell him firmly.

"A MISTAKE! HOW CAN YOU SAY IT WAS A MISTAKE! GET OUT," Eli screams and storms off to the washroom.

He slams the door and I hear noises. I can see his silhouette through the frosted glass, he seems to just be pacing around and ranting angrily. I grab my things, and dress quickly, deciding the best thing I can do now is leave.

"Wait," Eli says in a pleading voice just as I'm heading for the door. "I'm sorry for before, I just don't want you to leave. Can you blame me? I finally meet an amazing woman, one that enchants and excites me. It's my bad luck that she's already married. I'm sorry for yelling, can I ask one favor before you leave?"

"What is it?" I ask turning to look at him. He's still naked, but he's standing with his head down and his arms behind his back like he's repentant.

"One last kiss before you leave?"

"Okay," I nod walking over to him. I lean in for a kiss and he leans in, my eyes close. I feel his arms come around me and something wet and warm on my skin. I grab his hand and step back, seeing that he's sliced across his wrists with some kind of blade. "Eli," I gasp pulling him to the kitchen.

"You wanted to leave me, life without you isn't worth living," he says.

I see he's done the same to his other wrist, I get them both under the water to wash the cuts. Then I take a bunch of paper towels holding them on Eli's wrists. He slashed across and not down, either he didn't know what he was doing or he only meant to hurt himself and not kill himself.

"Eli, what did you use? I need to take you to the hospital."

"No, no hospitals I can't stand them. Just stay with me please, I'll be alright if you stay with me tonight," Eli begs.

"Alright, I'll stay, but if you continue bleeding or something I'm taking you into the hospital. Come into the washroom, you have first-aide supplies don't you?"

"In the medicine cabinet and under the sink," Eli tells me.

Keeping the paper towels firmly on his wrists I bring him into the washroom. I lift one hand from his wrist, the paper towel is partially soaked with blood and sticks to my hand a little. I have to get bandages on him and see how deep they are. Using the paper towel to wipe the blood I look at his wrist, it doesn't look like he cut very deep. He should be okay without going to the hospital, I see what he cut himself with. Looks like a small pocket knife, and I can't guarantee it's clean, but he refuses to go to the hospital.

With few options I find some gauze and tie it around his other wrist. I just need to keep the paper towel around his wrist while I bandage the other one. He's still bleeding, but it's slowing down, the blood is clotting. I'll have to watch it though, of course I already told him I'd stay with him tonight. I wipe away as much of the blood as I can, clean it with rubbing alcohol which makes Eli hiss. I slather it with anti-bacterial ointment, and then put a gauze pad on it and wrap it with gauze.

One wrist taken care of I do the same to the other wrist. His robe is in here, so I wrap him in it and bring him to the bed. I tuck him in and go to the kitchen to get him some water. He takes the water, drinks a few sips and sets the glass down.

"You'll stay with me all night right?" Eli questions.

"Yes, Eli, I'll stay all night. I'll be right back, I promise, I just need to call my mother-in-law and ask them to keep Lucian overnight again," I tell him.

He nods and I go out to the living room grabbing my purse from where I dropped it earlier. As the only semi-private place is the washroom I go in and shut the door. I call Sherri first and ask if they can take Lucian for the night again I lie and tell her that I'm not feeling well, she says it's no problem and to take care of myself. I have a missed call, video call, and text from Owen.

**Owen: Sorry I missed you Babe. We'll try again tomorrow night.**

**Clare: Sorry Love, I think I ate something bad and I'm not feeling well. Tomorrow night, early so Lucian can talk too. **

I put my phone back in my purse and set it on the sofa. I check on Eli, tell him to get some sleep, and that I'm going clean the kitchen. Eli turns on the TV and watches from his bed. I clean the kitchen and he's asleep when I'm done. I check the bandages, he's stopped bleeding. I think about leaving, but I worry what he'll do if he wakes up and I'm not here. So, I take a blanket and go to the sofa, setting an alarm for 4:30AM. It's pretty early, and it's been an exhausting day, but I can't seem to sleep. Eventually, I do fall asleep from sheer exhaustion, but it's restless and light. When my alarm goes off I don't feel rested, but I'm not going to sleep here. I start some coffee, get dressed and gather all my things. When the coffee is ready I pour a cup for Eli and go to his bed.

"Eli wake up," I say shaking him gently. He stirs a little and sits up a bit, I hand him the coffee. "How do you feel?"

"Better, I'm sorry about last night. I was afraid of losing you, I wasn't thinking," Eli apologizes before taking a sip of coffee.

"Eli I'm not yours to lose. I'm married, I have a son, and you knew that. If we had met before Owen and I did it might be different. I want you to see someone Eli, talk to a psychiatrist. You can't hurt yourself because you're afraid of losing someone Eli. Please Eli I'm worried about you," I plead with him.

"I'll talk to someone," Eli nods.

"Good, I have to go now. I have to go home and change and go get Lucian."

"Clare, can I ask a favor? If I talk to someone, could I get in touch with you sometime to let you know how I'm doing?"

"I guess that would be alright," I nod.

He smiles and I leave as fast as I can without just bolting out the door. I'm almost shaking, and all I want to do is hold my son, and be in Owen's arms. I can't be in Owen's arms at all, he's too far away, and it's too early to pick up Lucian. I go home, shower, get rid of my clothes with blood on them, and get dressed again. First thing I do is check in with Amber, I know she'll be awake, she's always up by 4.

"Hi Clare, how'd that lead go yesterday?"

"Still working on it, I have a bunch of phone calls to make and I've been days without Lucian. I'm gonna make the phone calls from home if that's okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine. If I have anything for you I'll call or e-mail. That article on Elijah Goldsworthy is fantastic, we're turning it into a three-part feature."

"Great, he was very talkative, there was a lot to write about. I'll check in later this afternoon, thanks Amber." I hang up with Amber and call Sherri. "Hi Sherri, I know it's early, but I'm going to be working from home today and I really miss Lucian."

"He's been missing you too. I'll get him up and get him ready, I know he'll be happy to see you."

"Thanks, I'll be there in twenty minutes," I tell her and hang up. I gab my purse and go out to my car, it's a nice easy drive to my in-laws at this hour. I ring the bell and I hear Lucian running for the door, my father-in-law opens it first.

"Hi Clare."

"Hi Gary," I smile hugging him.

"Mommy," Lucian grins running into my arms.

"Hi Sweetie, were you a good boy for Grandma and Grandpa?" I ask as he hugs me tightly.

"Yeah, we went to the zoo, and I saw pambas, an monkeys, an famingos, an…"

"You can tell Mommy all about it on the way home," Sherri interrupts him handing me his bag with his things in it. He's here so often he has clothes and the essentials here. We only pack his favorite toys and blanket, things like that.

"Thanks for keeping him for so long. Work was crazy and I think I had food poisoning yesterday," I tell them.

"It was our pleasure Honey, we love having him here. Are you sure you're feeling better Clare, you do seem a bit pale."

"Yes, I'm feeling much better, anyway I'll be working at home all day."

"Well, you call us if you need us Honey, we know how hard it is on you when Owen is gone."

I thank my in-laws, we hug them again and I get Lucian into my car. He spends the whole drive home telling me about every single animal he saw at the zoo. Possibly, every single animal he can remember the name of. I let him out of his car seat when we get home, and he runs straight for the front door. I unlock it with my phone so he can get in, he runs in and straight to his room. When I walk in with his bag he's saying hello to all of his toys.

"When Daddy be home?" He asks sitting on his bed to kick off his shoes.

"Soon, Daddy will be home soon," I assure my son with a smile. "He's going to video chat tonight so you can talk to him and see him. Why don't we make some pancakes for breakfast?"

"Yeah!" Lucian says excitedly.

He runs for the kitchen and we start making pancakes. After he eats I let him watch TV while I clean up. As I wasn't really chasing a lead yesterday I don't really have phone calls to make. I should probably get some work done though, so I get my laptop and sign into my work account. I work at the dining room table, so that I can keep an eye on Lucian.

I spend all day idly working, watching Lucian play. We make lunch together and he takes a nap after lunch. It's a pretty quiet day, but in the company of my son my affair and Eli slip to the back of my mind. So far back that I can almost forget about them. At least until Owen's picture pops up on my laptop as he video calls me. I click accept and just like that it all comes rushing in, I feel my cheeks get hot with shame, I hope Owen doesn't notice.

"Hey Gorgeous, I've missed you," Owen grins. As soon as Lucian hears his dad's voice he drops his blocks and comes running over.

"I've missed you too," I smile at my husband.

"Daddy," Lucian says happily as he tries to climb into my lap. I bend over to pick Lucian up and put him in my lap.

"Hey Buddy, are you looking out for Mommy?"

"Uhhuh," Lucian nods, "G'mama an Ganpa took me to the zoo." Lucian spends the next twenty minutes telling Owen everything about his time with his grandparents. I hold Lucian on my lap, and try not to look at Owen.

I'm mostly looking at the back Lucian's head, running my fingers through his hair. Owen is focused on Lucian and isn't paying much attention to me. At least, not at first, I feel him looking at me though, pinching his eyebrows together.

"Hey Buddy, why don't you go play for a few minutes and let me talk to Mommy before I have to leave," Owen requests.

"Okay Daddy, I love you buh-bye," Lucian says and blows a kiss to Owen. He then slides off my lap and runs back to his toys.

"Are you okay?" Owen asks.

"Yeah, fine, I just miss you. It seems like you're gone for longer and longer stretches," I comment.

"This is only temporary, I can't play hockey forever and you know that. I should be home in a few days," Owen says.

"For a few days, and then you're gone again until the season is over. When you can't play anymore you're going to coach, that still means being on the road."

"Clare, we talked about this. I was recruited long before we were married, what do you want me to do?"

"Nothing," I sigh, "it's just hard when you're gone. Sometimes it's so long, and we can't come with you. I know this is what I signed up for when I married you, it's just hard."

"I know, but the more I do now the better off we'll be for the future. Maybe, I can take a local coaching job at a university or even a high school. I should get going, I'll see you in a couple of days, I love you."

"I love you too," I reply back with as much of a smile as I can muster and close the video chat box.

Lucian is happily playing, but I'm in a funk now. My argument with Owen, my tryst with Eli it's all weighing on me. It's nearly dinner time, but I don't feel like cooking, I ask Lucian if he wants pizza for dinner, which of course he does. So, I place an order and then my phone rings, it's Eli and I hit decline and he calls right back. He'll just keep calling back, so I give in and answer, but walk into the kitchen as I do so.

"Hi Eli."

"I saw a therapist today," he tells me and sounds quite proud of himself.

"That's good Eli, I'm glad you did that, but you can't just be calling me, my son is here."

"I'm getting better, the therapist will work with me and I'll get better, no more hurting myself."

"That's great Eli, I'm proud of you, but what we did was a mistake, you c…"

"STOP CALLING IT A MISTAKE! WHAT WE HAVE IS AMAZING, ONCE IN A LIFETIME."

"We don't have anything Eli, I had an affair and it was a mistake. Goodbye Eli," I say firmly, even though I'm shaking, and hang up. As soon as I hang up I hear a noise outside, it could be a coincidence, a stray cat or neighborhood dog. I'm not taking the chance though, not after hanging up on Eli. I make sure the security lights outside are on, and make another phone call. "Can you come over?"

**Update soon picking up from right here. Next story to be updated is ****_"The Way She Smiles When She Sees Me"_****.**


	3. Won't You Say You Love Me

**These are the last two chapters, I hope you enjoy them!**

**Ch. 3 ****Won't You Say You Love Me**

"Thanks for coming," I smile hugging Adam when I open the door. He didn't even ask why I wanted him to come over, just dropped everything and rushed over.

"Of course, but you going to tell me what's wrong now? You sounded scared when you called," Adam comments. He only lives a few blocks away and it only took him ten minutes to get here. Despite not hearing any other noises in that ten minutes, I was still worried.

"Untle Adam's here," Lucian grins running over to hug him.

Adam picks up Lucian and hugs him tightly, setting him down just as the doorbell rings again. I tense up slightly at the sound of the doorbell, Lucian doesn't notice, but Adam does. Adam looks through the window at the top of the door, then opens it to reveal that our pizza has arrived.

"Oh good, you ordered dinner," Adam grins.

I release a breath I didn't know I was holding, and Adam signs the receipt. I take the pizza and breadsticks into the kitchen with Lucian following me. Just as I'm opening the boxes on the counter and getting down plates Adam comes into the kitchen.

"Did you lock the front door?" I question Adam handing him a plate.

"Yep, deadbolted and everything," he replies. His voice is even, and he doesn't ask in front of Lucian, but I know he will. I can see in his eyes that he knows something is wrong.

Lucian climbs into his chair, I put a slice of pizza and a breadstick on a plate for him. I get out some baby carrots and put those on the plate, and a juice box. Adam grabs a beer and helps himself to two slices and three breadsticks. I opt for wine, one slice and one breadstick to start. Lucian spends all of dinner once again recounting his trip to the zoo for Adam. After dinner Lucian gets a bath and gets ready for bed and then I read to him until he's asleep.

"Alright, talk," Adam demands handing me a glass of wine when I return to the living room.

I bite my lip and look down at my wine swirling it in the glass, "I had an affair," I exhale shamefully.

"Clare! You had sex with someone else? I never thought you'd do that! Who? When?"

"Did you read my last article?

"Yeah, about Eli Goldsworthy; up and coming author. Parts one and two anyway the final part comes out tomorrow in…" Adam stops, and his eyes go wide as he realizes what I'm trying to tell him. "Clare, you didn't?" He exclaims, but I can only bite my lip. "You did! You had sex with someone you were writing about?!"

"I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened," I reply. Even as I say the words they sound like a terrible rationalization.

"Better start from the beginning," Adam insists.

"I was assigned the article Wednesday; my editor gave me Eli's book and I came home and read it straight through. It was really good, very engaging, and when I was done reading, I called him to set up the interview. He said I could do it now and invited me to his apartment to do it. I went over and there was an instant attraction, a physical one, for both of us. His eyes are especially…" I pause and roll my lower lip between my teeth as I remember the first time I locked eyes with him. Then I remember Eli cutting his writs and shake off that image.

"Yeah?" Adam prompts when I don't continue.

"I stayed professional, he offered me coffee and I looked around his living room as he made the coffee. We sat on the sofa and I began the interview, after he answered my question he asked me one. I reminded him I was doing the interview and he laid on the flattery, we were sorting of interviewing each other. After a while my stomach growled, I hadn't eaten since breakfast, and he offered for us to continue at the restaurant downstairs. So, we went downstairs and continued the interview over dinner."

"I take it he was still interviewing you as well?" Adam inquires and I nod.

"We ate a slow dinner, had an entire bottle of wine, and after he paid for dinner we returned to his apartment. He kissed me almost as soon as we were inside. I just let instinct take over, I wasn't thinking at all. Maybe I wasn't letting myself because I didn't want to think. I fell asleep after and woke up very early the next morning, I slipped out of his bed and his apartment, and I was thinking again. I went home and started on the article, trying not to think about what I had done, trying not to be eaten by the guilt."

"Was that the end of it?" Adam questions.

"I really wish I could say yes. Eli called later that morning, he asked where I went. He thought I was going to spend the day with him. I must have agreed to it as I was falling asleep, or maybe he just assumed. I told him it wasn't a good idea, that I was a married woman and tried telling him that the night before had been a mistake, but he kept interrupting. He was begging me to spend the day with him, and I gave in. I knew it was wrong, but…" I pause with a heavy exhale wondering how to explain this to my closest friend why I chose to go with Eli. Why I ever let the affair happen to begin with?

"But?" Adam prompts.

"There was a part of me that really wanted to. A part of me that was stimulated by Eli's intelligence, and wanted more of the excitement and desire from the night before. I shouldn't have done so, I should have said no. I listened to that part that wanted to be with him again."

"So, you spent the day with him?"

"It was stupid, more than stupid. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but Eli stimulated my mind. It feels like Owen is gone for longer and longer stretches. I know it's a poor excuse, I never should have gone, I should have stood up to him and said no. I went, and what's worse I had a wonderful day. We went to art galleries and a bookshop, walked through the park. When we returned to his place he read me some of his poetry, including one he'd written for me that morning. We made love again, we spent the entire afternoon in his bed. When we could move again we made dinner. I had successfully compartmentalized all day, not thinking of Owen or Lucian. After dinner I said I'd help clean up and he wanted to return to the bed. I told him I was exhausted and that I had to pick up Lucian. He told me to stay the night again, that we belong together. I told him that I had a life, a family and I couldn't just drop that all after one night. A thrilling one, but it was still a mistake, and that's when he lost it."

"Lost it how?"

"When I called it a mistake he started yelling and told me to get out. He stormed off to the washroom, the only place in his apartment with a door. He slammed the door and I started to get dressed and gather my things as quickly as I could. I was almost at the door when he pleaded with me to wait, and I stopped but had my back to him. He apologized for yelling, said he'd finally met an amazing woman that stimulated him and he didn't want to lose me. That it was his bad luck that I was already married. He wanted one last favor before I walked out, one last kiss. I agreed and went to him, when his arms came around me I felt something wet and warm. I stepped back and looked at his wrists," I'm saying when Adam cuts me off.

"He cut himself."

"Yes, across and not down, I think he only meant to hurt himself. I was still worried and I couldn't leave him like that. I took him in the washroom and looked at his wrists, cleaned the cuts as best I could, I wanted him to go to the hospital but he refused. I did what I could, cleaned and bandaged his wrists and took him to his bed. I tried again to get him to go to the hospital, but he refused and begged me to stay with him. I couldn't leave him with his wrists bleeding, so I agreed to stay. I made sure Lucian could sleep at his grandparents again. Eli was calm now, he watched TV while I cleaned the kitchen and when I was done he was asleep. I checked his bandages and he had stopped bleeding, I considered leaving, but I worried what would happen if he woke up and I wasn't there."

"So, you stayed?"

"I slept on the sofa, though I didn't sleep very well, and I set an alarm for 4:30. I didn't want to stay any longer than I needed to. When the alarm went off I went to check on Eli, and wake him up to tell him I had to leave. He said he felt better and apologized for the night before. He said he was afraid to lose me, and I told him I was not his to lose. I beseeched him to speak to a psychiatrist, that I was worried about him. He said he would, and I told him I had to go, to get home to Lucian. He asked if he could get in touch with me sometime, after he talked to someone. To let me know how he was doing, and I said that would be okay. I thought I'd hear from him in a month or two."

"I take it he called you tonight?"

"Yes, just after I ordered pizza, he called and I declined and he called right back. I answered this time, going into the other room to keep Lucian from hearing. Eli said he saw a therapist today, I told him that was good, but he couldn't be calling me with my son there. He said the therapist would work with him and he wouldn't hurt himself any longer. I told him that was good, but what happened between us was a mistake. He yelled again, angry that I called it a mistake. He said what we had was once in a lifetime. I told him we had nothing, that I had an affair and said goodbye. After I hung up I heard a noise outside, it was probably nothing, a stray cat or something, but after my phone call will Eli I just didn't want to be alone."

"I'll stay as long as you need me to," Adam smiles hugging me.

"Thanks Adam, as I said I'm sure it was nothing, but with Eli's volatile behavior I just didn't want to take any chances."

"Better not to, especially alone in the house with Lucian. What about Owen?"

"I can't tell him, I can never tell him. It was a terrible mistake, one I let myself fall into."

Adam hugs me again, there's not much he can say or do aside from be here with me. We sip wine and Adam starts talking about Drew to distract me. When the bottle of wine is gone we go to bed, Adam sleeps in the guest room of course.

The night is quiet, no calls from Eli, no noises outside. Even so Adam stays all weekend, just to be safe, and because I'm worried. Owen and I talk by video chat each night. It's not at all unusual for Adam to stay over when Owen is out of town. So, Owen doesn't ask or worry about it. Thankfully I don't see or hear from Eli all weekend.

"I'll take Lucian to preschool, you get to the office," Adam says Monday morning.

"Thanks Adam," I smile kissing his cheek. "Be good for Uncle Adam, and I'll see you this afternoon," I tell Lucian kissing his forehead.

"Kay Mommy," Lucian smiles and looks at Adam. "Tan I has waffles Adam?"

"Waffles it is," Adam grins.

With my son in good hands I grab my purse and head to work. I have an e-mail from my editor about a new article assignment and I get to work. Adam send me a text after he's dropped off Lucian. I spend most of the day doing research for the article, I have to pick up Lucian by 5:30 but as long as most of the research is done I can write from home. By mid-afternoon I decide to take my research and pick up Lucian. I tell my editor I'm going to work from home and head to the elevator. When the elevator doors open I step in and look at my phone. The elevator doors begin to close when a hand reaches in and stops the doors. I look up and am horrifically surprised to see Eli enter the elevator.

"What are you doing here?" I demand as the elevator doors close.

"I had to see you," he replies hitting the emergency stop button.

"Eli I am married, I have a son. I never should have let anything happen with you it was a terrible mistake. Whatever you want to believe it was a mistake. You cannot just drop by my work Eli," I say with a strong and steady voice. While my voice remains strong inside I'm trembling, afraid of why he's here and what he might do. I move forward and manage to push the button to start the elevator again. As soon as the elevator is moving again Eli grabs my arm and shoves me to the wall.

"I will not lose you," he whispers ominously into my ear.

I'm frozen, too shocked and afraid to breathe let alone think. When the elevator dings having reached the lobby Eli steps away from me. He saunters out of the elevator as though nothing happened. When he's a few steps ahead I compose myself and leave the elevator. I consider going to the security desk, but what would I tell them? There's no cameras in the elevators and Eli is gone now.

I get in my car and call Sherri. I ask if they can pick up Lucian and take him for the night, telling her that I have a lot of work to do. Sherri says it's no problem, I thank her and tell them I'll pick Lucian up from preschool tomorrow. Then I start my car and begin driving, but not to home. I don't know where Eli is and I'm not taking the risk of him following me home. When I park outside of the apartment building I appear to be alone, still I hurry to the front door and enter the security code. Not wishing to wait for any other elevators I simply run up the three flights of stairs.

"What's wrong?" Adam asks when he opens his front door.

"Eli surprised me at work," I reply as I step into his apartment.

"You want to stay the night?"

"If it's alright?"

"Of course it is, Lucian must be with his grandparents."

"Yeah, for the night, I just wasn't sure if Eli would follow me."

"I'll call Drew, I'm sure he'd come have dinner with us."

"Thanks Adam," I smile just as my phone rings. Adam gets his phone to call Drew and I look at my phone to see that it's Owen calling. I take a deep breath and answer my phone, "Hi Honey."

"Hi Beautiful, we won our game, we fly home Thursday night and I'll be home all weekend."

"That's good, I miss you," I tell him as Adam starts talking to Drew.

"I miss you too, is Adam still over?"

"No, I'm at his place, I figured I owed him dinner since he spent the weekend with us."

"Are you okay? You sound worried or something," Owen says.

"I'm fine, just tired, I'll see you this weekend."

"I'll come straight from the airport, I can't wait to wrap you in my arms."

"Me either, I love you."

"I love you too," Owen says before hanging up.

"Drew's on his way over. I didn't tell him anything, just that you were having dinner here."

"Thanks Adam, I better start on my article."

I get out my laptop and begin working while Adam orders some dinner. Drew shows up and greets me, Drew and I were never particularly close friends, but he does get along with Owen very well. Adam puts on the TV and they watch while I work on my article. When dinner arrives I put away my laptop and eat with them. Drew goes home just after ten, I'm still sipping a glass of wine so Drew doesn't ask when I'm going home. I sleep in Adam's guest room, but after Eli's ambush I don't get much sleep.

Having finished my article last night and having a few options to research for a new one I opt to work from home Tuesday. My editor says it's fine, and after picking up Lucian from his grandparents I take him home with me rather than preschool. I'm only home a few minutes when my phone rings, it's Eli and I decline the call, he calls again and again and again. I block his number and we have a few hours of peace, until just after lunch when my phone rings again. It's not a number I recognize, but it's not odd for me to get calls from numbers I don't recognize.

"Clare Milligan," I answer.

"You can't ignore me," Eli seethes.

I hang up and turn off my phone. I grab Lucian and get him in the car, and drive us to the mall to get a new phone number. I get a new phone too, I'm not taking any chances that Eli somehow has mine tracked or cloned or something. Yes, I am now paranoid. To get a new number and phone, but transfer all my contacts and other things takes most of the afternoon. We don't return home until early evening, and I order pizza for dinner again. While waiting for pizza I start texting everyone important my new number.

My editor is first and I ask her not to give out this new number to anyone. I'm sure I'll be questioned about it tomorrow. I text my family the new number next, none of them ask about it, I have changed my number before. I text Owen's parents the new number next, they don't ask either just thank me for the new number. When I text it to Adam he texts back asking if he needs to come over. I call him back to tell him about Eli's phone calls, but that we're okay and I'll call him if I need him. The last one I text is Owen, and he immediately calls me back.

"What's wrong? Why'd you change your number?"

"It's nothing, I had an issue with someone calling, wanting me to do a story. Even after I blocked the number they called back. So, I had my number changed," I tell him. I hate lying to him, but I can't tell him the truth.

"Okay, I'll be home in a few days."

"I know, I can't wait to see you."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

I hang up with Owen and the pizza arrives a few minutes later. I can barely eat and I let Lucian eat while watching a movie. He watches a second movie and falls asleep during it. I put him to bed and wish that sleep would come as easily for me. I make sure the outside lights are on and the alarm is on, and I still cannot sleep. I stay awake with the lights and TV on, and barely sleep at all. So, I call in Wednesday morning to say that I'm working from home. I do get some sleep, after making Lucian breakfast and taking him to preschool I'm able to sleep. I go all day without seeing or hearing from Eli and that night I am able to sleep.

After taking Lucian to preschool I go into the office. After a goodnight's sleep and no sign or sight from Eli my head is clear. I've decided on my next article and I set to work on it. I work most of the day, hardly leaving my desk, I even have lunch delivered and eat at my desk. After finishing the article I stop and read e-mails, it's never good to read over an article just after finishing it. I look through several e-mails, most of them internal and things I don't particularly care about. One catches my attention, an e-mail with a video attachment. I get this sort of thing all the time as leads for stories. I still scan it with the virus and malware software to be safe. It comes back clean, so I open the video, for the first five seconds it's just black and silent. I'm starting to think it's a broken link when I hear Eli's voice.

"I will not lose you Clare. You and I belong together, you are mine and I will not stop until you see that. You will be mine by whatever means I must use to make you mine forever. You can't just claim my heart and ignore me, I will not allow that. I will not lose you Clare, I refuse to lose you."

The video ends and begins to replay, you never see Eli, he remains in darkness. I stop the video and get up from my desk, I start to go to my editor's office and stop myself. I don't know what I'd tell her. I return to my desk and send an e-mail to our IT department asking them to look at the video. It's a couple of hours before I get a reply, they can't trace the video, it's a dead end e-mail that's already been deleted. They recommend I go to the police and building security. I don't know what to do now, Eli's threats were menacing, but going to the police involves me telling them about the affair.

We have an alarm at the house, yet I don't feel safe going home right now. I call Sherri and ask her to keep Lucian overnight again. I talk to Lucian briefly, telling him I have a lot of work to do and I love him. He always gets spoiled at his grandparents, so I'm sure he'll have a good time. I consider calling Adam, but I've bothered him enough this last week, he does have a life of his own. I decide to stay at work as long as I can, maybe even sleep here. There's a few sofas around, and it happens a lot during elections or natural disasters. Maybe after a good night's sleep I'll be able to think and I'll know what to do about Eli's threats.

I should be getting a lot of work done, but I'm finding it hard to concentrate. As people begin leaving the building to go home it occurs to me that Eli's been here, he could get in. I'm not getting anything done, and I don't feel safe, when a hand clamps down on my shoulder I scream.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, guess it is kind of spooky in here at night."

At the sound of my husband's voice I turn around and embrace him tightly. Biting back the tears that threaten to break free, even though I know I'm safe now.

"Guess you really did miss me," Owen laughs but tightens his embrace of me.

"Yes, very much," I agree without letting go or looking up at him.

Owen tips up my chin and sees my eyes anyway, "You look like you're about to cry, are you okay? Did I scare you that badly?"

"I'm okay, just distracted and I hadn't realized how many people had left to go home. Guess I did get a little spooked," I reply. It's only a half truth, I was afraid to go home, and I was terrified it was Eli grabbing me.

"What are you doing here so late? Usually you take the work home, don't you?"

"Yes, I just…lost track of time," I lie.

"Is Lucian at my parents?" Owen questions and I nod. "Is this work that can't wait until the morning?"

"It can wait, I was done, just lost track of time as I said."

"Good, because I'm finally home and I want to take my wife home and have a night alone with her," Owen grins.

I smile and kiss my husband, doing my best to push any thought or fear of Eli to the back of my mind. He stays with me while I gather my things and we walk out to the parking garage. He comes with me to my car, kissing me before I get in. He parked on a lower level, and I watch him walk toward the elevator as I start my car. I exit the garage and get about half a block before the car suddenly dies.

**Go and read the conclusion it is now up.**


	4. I'll Tear Your Soul Apart

**For the stories that will be replacing this and **_**"Why Do I Want Him Still?" **_**see the A/N at the end of this chapter.**

**Ch. 4 I'll Tear Your Soul Apart**

The car just stops, it's not working at all, and I'm stuck in the middle of the road. Thankfully, Owen was right behind me, he pulls up behind me and gets out of the car.

"What's wrong?" He questions after I've rolled my window down.

"I'm not sure, it just stopped all of a sudden."

"Let's get you over to the side of the road and I'll take a look," Owen says.

I put the car in neutral and steer while Owen pushes me to the side of the road. Thankfully it's late enough in this part of town that there are not many cars on the road. He then goes back to his own car and pulls up behind me, while I pop the hood. He gets out of his car and comes over, using his phone to look at the engine. He closes the hood just a couple minutes later and comes to the passenger side opening the door and getting in.

"It's pretty dark over here, but I don't see anything that would make the car just stop. We'll call for a tow, they can take it to Jay's, and he can take a look at it in the morning," Owen tells me.

"Okay," I nod putting my head back against the seat and closing my eyes.

It's not until Owen is on the phone with the towing company that it occurs to me that my car was likely sabotaged. It worked fine this morning, and after Eli's video I wouldn't be at all surprised. He probably did something to it and made sure it would stop. He must have been intending to follow me and then…then what? Come to my rescue and hope I was grateful or take me from a dark street?

I shudder a little and my eyes shoot open, looking around the darkened street, expecting a dark figure with piercing green eyes to slink out of the shadows. I don't see anything, but I do suddenly feel like we're being watched. I lock the car doors to be safe and keep looking around. I'm not sure what I'm expecting, but none of the possibilities are good ones right now.

"Tow truck should be here in a few minutes, Jay will meet them at the garage, he knows they're coming. Once the tow truck is here, we'll go home," Owen tells me.

"Good, it's been a long day."

Owen puts his arm around me, and we wait for the tow truck. Once it arrives, we get out of my car, and I go into Owen's. As soon as the tow truck has my car hitched up and Owen has signed the paperwork he gets in the car. Even on the drive home I don't feel entirely safe. I keep looking in the rearview mirror thinking Eli is following us, and even when we get home and pull into the garage I expect Eli to be there. Owen turns off the alarm as we enter the house, and I make sure to arm it again.

"I know what you had in mind for tonight, but it's been a long day and I'm really tired. You think maybe we could just go to bed? I'd love to be in your arms all night long."

"Of course," Owen smiles giving me a tender kiss, "we have more than tonight. I will be home at least through next Friday. Tomorrow night is a home game and our next one is Ottawa, so I'll be gone Wednesday afternoon and back late that night."

This is a wonderfully comforting thought; I start getting ready for bed with a sense of safety and security. Enwrapped in the safety of my husband's arms Eli, the affair and his threats fall away, and I sleep very peacefully. We wake early the next morning, Owen has work later, but we make breakfast together and then go pick up Lucian together. Lucian is of course thrilled to see his father and doesn't want to spend the day at preschool. After some struggle we do get Lucian to preschool, and Owen takes me to work since my car is at the shop.

It's a slow, rather mundane morning as I finish up work from yesterday and begin researching my new article. I even feel confident enough to go down to the coffee shop in the lobby for some quick lunch. When I return to my desk there are flowers and I smile, thinking they are from Owen. At least until I see the card, it says simply: **You are my soulmate. **The card isn't signed, but I know it's not from Owen, not only has Eli continuously insisted he's my soulmate, but Owen would never write that. He would say he loves me or call me beautiful or sexy.

I quickly throw away the card, but I can't toss the flowers, not yet. Too many people will see and then wonder who did send the flowers. All I can do is let them sit at the edge of my desk and smile at the compliments people give me about them. Naturally, everyone assumes the flowers are from Owen. I don't see or hear anything else from Eli and push it all to the back of my mind for a while. At least until Jay calls to tell me about my car. It was sabotage, key components were cut or loosened so that the car would travel a short distance and then stop.

"You should talk to building security Clare, or even the cops," Jay tells me.

"Yeah, I'll talk to building security. Is the car fixable?"

"All fixed, it's ready for you to pick up."

"Thanks Jay, I'll be over soon," I tell him before hanging up.

Amber is in a meeting, but I do go to building security. Only the garage entrances and exits are set up with cameras. Black and white cameras and I have no idea when Eli entered the garage or if he followed me out right away. If he saw Owen walk me to my car he may have stayed back. After going to building security I send an e-mail to Amber to say that I'm working the afternoon from home. Then I call for a cab to get to Jay's garage. When the cab pulls up to the garage Jay sees me get out of the cab and comes over to talk to me.

"Did you talk to the security at your building?" Jay asks wiping his hands on a rag.

"Yes, but only the garage entrances and exits have cameras."

"I told Owen you should file a police report," Jay tells me.

My heart starts pounding with the thought he spoke to Owen, but I should have known he would. "Thanks Jay, I'll go in and pay, thanks for fitting me in."

Jay says no problem and I go inside and pay, Jay is always nice and charges us mostly for parts because he's been friends with Owen so long. After settling the bill, I go pick up Lucian from preschool and take us home.

"Where Daddy?" Lucian asks when we get home.

"Work Honey, he'll be home later tonight, not until you're in bed though."

"I want to see Daddy," Lucian whines.

"He'll be home for several days; you'll see him in the morning Honey. What do want for dinner?"

"Nuddets!" Lucian replies clapping his hands together.

I make Lucian chicken nuggets for dinner; he likes to dip them in ketchup. I also put grapes and sugar snap peas on his plate that he must eat. I haven't exactly cooked or been shopping in the last week, thus grownup dinner options are minimal. I have a glass of wine, baby carrots, crackers and cheese for dinner. I eat while making a shopping list for tomorrow, it's never this bad, but I've been a little distracted these last few days.

I let Lucian eat while watching a movie, it's not great but it keeps him happy and distracted. Otherwise I'd never get my work done and sent in. In spite of the excitement and fear of the last few days I don't see or hear anything from Eli. I finish my article and get Lucian to bed, pour another glass of wine and sit in front of the TV. I leave all the lights on just to be safe. I don't watch Owen's game, I don't even like being at them live, it's too frightening if he gets hurt, and I've just never much cared for sports. So, I binge watch a mindless show and sip at some wine and wait for Owen to come home. It seems to take him a very long time to get home, but finally near eleven I hear his car.

I turn off the TV and stand up ready to greet him, ready to be in the warm, safety of my husbands embrace. Only when he comes in his face is red, his eyes are narrowed, his fists are clenched. He's angry, I realize he took so long to come home because he was blowing off steam, driving or walking around, too angry to come home.

"What is going on Clare?" He asks in a low growling voice.

"What do you mean?" I question and regret the words even as they leave my lips, I already know, I just don't want to face it.

"Your car was intentionally sabotaged and I'm getting calls and notes at the stadium from some guy saying he's your soulmate. Telling me I don't deserve you, and you're in love with him after some passionate affair? DID YOU HAVE AN AFFAIR?!" Owen yells and I shrink back as tears crowd the corners of my eyes.

"Owen please, Lucian is sleeping," I beg but he's unmoved.

"Did you sleep with another guy Clare?" Owen asks through clenched teeth, he's not yelling but he is seething.

"Yes," I reply barely above a whisper as I look down.

"How could you? How could you betray me like that? How could you have sex with another guy?"

I tighten up and react defensively, "You're on the road for months at a time, and I have no idea what you get into so far from ho…"

"I have never even kissed another woman, not in all the time we've been together. I would never have sex with anyone else I don't want anyone else. If you don't trust me you can ask anyone else on the team. I would never betray you like that or jeopardize our family like that. Never Clare. Am I not enough for you anymore? Do you not love me anymore?"

"No, I am still very much in love with you."

"Then how could you let someone else touch you?"

"I…I don't have an easy explanation."

"Who was it? How long has this been going on?"

"His name is Eli Goldsworthy, I did a story on him last week, I'd never even met him before that. We had sex exactly twice, it was a horrible mistake that never should have happened, I'd do anything to take it back," I tell my husband as tears begin rolling down my cheeks.

"But you gave your body to some other guy twice, because I was gone?"

"No, it's not that simple."

"Then explain it to me Clare, how could have sex with another guy? Why does he think he's your soulmate? Why is he threatening me if all you've had is two nights of sex?" Owen asks his voice growling louder and louder with each word.

"I was assigned an article on Eli, an up and coming author with a new book. I read the book, and called him to set up an interview. I admit there was an instant attraction, a mutual one. He interviewed me as much as I interviewed him, we had dinner and wine, and went back to his apartment and he kissed me. I know I should have walked out then, but I didn't. I let myself get wrapped in the moment. I admit it was exciting, we had a lot in common, it was nice to feel beautiful and sexy and desired again. We d…"

"You don't think I desire you?" Owen interrupts in a tone laced with so much venom I pull back.

"I didn't say that. Do you want to hear this or not?" I question clenching my own fists.

"No, not at all, but I have to," Owen says relaxing ever so slightly.

"I fell asleep after," I continue deciding he doesn't need all the details. "He must have asked me to spend the next day with him as I was falling asleep. Or after I was asleep, I'm not sure. I woke up very early the next morning and was overrun with guilt. I couldn't leave Eli's apartment fast enough. I came home, tried to forget, I thought that would be the end of it, it should have been. He called later that morning, wanted me to spend the day with him, I should have hung up on him. Said no, that it should never have happened b…"

"But you went back to him?! You knew it was wrong, that is shouldn't happen, but you wanted to be with him!" Owen snarls so angrily he spits as he talks and his face is deep red.

"No I…" my trembling voice is silenced by the roar of my husband.

"**YOU WENT BACK TO HIM CLARE YOU WANTED TO BE WITH HIM!" **Owen yells and then takes a deep breath as we hear noises from Lucian's room. "If you want to be with Eli then go be with him," Owen hisses in a venom filled voice.

He turns and begins storming for the door and I catch his arm, "I don't want Eli, I w…"

"Don't lie to me Clare, I can't even look at you right now," Owen replies in a voice that's eerily calm.

"Owen please," I beg trying to pull him back.

"Don't touch me," he growls and turns as he pushes me away.

He pushes with a lot of force and I fall back hitting one of the end tables and knocking it over. Owen looks at me, his eyes managing to be all at once irate and apologetic. He's never once raised his hand to me, but he doesn't even ask if I'm okay just storms out the door, slamming it as he goes. I can feel the tears building, about to burst free, but the sound of my child crying forces me to swallow my tears. I rush into Lucian's room as he's calling for me and Owen.

"It's okay Honey, I'm here," I assure him. I hold my son close and stroke his hair as he wipes his eyes.

"Loud, wote me up," Lucian sniffles.

"It's okay Honey, nothing to be worried about," I assure him.

"Where Daddy?"

"Asleep Baby, he was very tired when he came home." I can't tell him the truth he wouldn't understand. If Owen never comes back I'll have to tell him something, I'm hoping Owen and I can talk tomorrow.

I stay with Lucian and stroke his hair, soon he's asleep again. I return to the living room and text Adam, asking him to come over if he's still awake. A moment later I get a text saying he's on his way. I look at the broken lamp and overturned end table, I should clean it up, but all I can do is burst into tears. I can't even stop and make myself get up when I hear knocking on the door. Adam tries the door, finds it open and comes in.

"What happened?" Adam inquires sitting next to me and putting an arm around me.

"Owen found out, Eli's been calling him and leaving notes at the stadium saying that Owen isn't good enough for me and Eli is my soulmate. He stayed out late, way after the game and came home still angry. We fought of course, I tried to tell him, to explain, not that there really was an explanation. When he found out that I went back to Eli the following day he just lost it. He didn't even hear about it, I didn't get to telling him about Eli cutting himself, or the video or flowers or that Eli sabotaged my car, although I'm guessing Owen figured it was Eli that sabotaged my car."

"Hold it," Adam says before I can go any further. "What video, what flowers, and what do you mean he sabotaged your car?"

"Eli sent flowers with a card saying we were soulmates, he didn't sign the card, but I know the flowers weren't from Owen. Eli also sent a video, he's shrouded in darkness, but he talks about how he won't let me go. How I can't claim his heart and ignore him and how I'll be his by whatever means necessary. I told IT about the video, but it couldn't be traced, and you never see Eli. I was worried about going home though, so I stayed late at work and Owen found me there. We walked out together and he was behind me and then my car stopped working. Owen couldn't find anything wrong, so he called a tow truck and had it towed to Jay's. Today Jay told me, and Owen, that the car had been sabotaged, Eli had to have done it, I'm not sure why, what his plan was, but he did."

"Okay, that's all super creepy and stalking behavior, you need to go to the cops Clare. Now, what happened here, and why is there a giant bruise on your arm?"

"Owen, after telling him I went back to Eli he was enraged and started storming for the door. I tried to stop him and he pushed me back, he pushed a little too hard and I fell into the end table. He's never raised his hand to me Adam, not once. He was so angry though, and I can't blame him. I brought this on myself," I sigh.

"It's probably best for Owen to be out, cool off. I know he's angry and hurt, it's still no reason to hurt you, but I'm sure he'll be able to talk tomorrow. I'll stay the night, I doubt you can sleep, you want to talk or watch TV?"

"Thanks Adam, I don't know what I'd do without you. I think I've talked enough, put on the TV, I'm just going to go check on Lucian."

Adam and I stay up most of the night watching TV, somewhere near dawn exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep on the sofa with Adam. Jolting awake when I hear Lucian call for me, he must have gone to the bedroom and seeing neither me nor Owen got worried.

"Right here Honey, Mommy was just in the living room," I yawn dragging my half-asleep self down the hall.

"You should try and get a little more sleep, you don't work today. I'll feed Lucian breakfast, how does French toast sound?" Adam asks Lucian.

"Yay," Lucian claps excitedly.

"Why don't you go to the kitchen Buddy and I'll be right there," Adam tells him. Lucian smiles and runs off to the kitchen. "When Lucian is eating I'll try and get a hold of Owen, explain what I can. Make sure he knows Eli's been threatening and stalking you."

I don't have any appropriate words to thank my best friend, so I hug him tightly and kiss his cheek instead. Adam smiles and goes down the hall to the kitchen while I go into the bedroom. I fall asleep again quickly and sleep another three hours, waking rested, but not feeling any better. I do notice that the house seems too quiet. I get up and go out to the living room, passing Lucian's room on the way, but he's not in there. When I get out to the living room I see only Adam watching TV.

"Where's Lucian?" I ask with a yawn.

"Out with Owen," Adam replies.

"Why?" I question feeling an odd panic.

"He's his father, you don't really think Owen would hurt Lucian, or try and take him do you?"

"No, no of course not," I reply sitting on the sofa. "It's just been a crazy and emotionally trying few days. Despite the extra sleep I'm not thinking very clearly."

"I know," Adam says with an assuring smile, "Owen took Lucian for the day. He's going to take him to his parents tonight and Lucian will spend the rest of the weekend there. That way you and Owen can work on things without having to worry about Lucian. Owen figured if he was going to do that he should spend a really great day with Lucian today. You should eat some breakfast and wake up, and then we're going to the cops."

"Did you tell Owen?"

"Not in so many words, not with Lucian around. I said I was worried and would stay with you all day, and I'd take you to the station. He didn't ask with Lucian in the room, but he knew something more was going on, and was glad I'd be here with you all day."

Adam gets up and puts on some coffee, two cups, one meal and two hours later we're at the police station. I'm there for nearly three hours while I make a statement, it feels like a wasted three hours when there's nothing the cops can do. I can't press charges on Eli for having an affair with him or even cutting himself. There were no witnesses to anything else, and when I try to retrieve the threatening video it's gone. The cops do say they'll get statements from Owen, the security in my building, IT since they saw the video, and Jay. However, without any direct link to Eli, and even if they do find one there isn't much they can do.

They do say they will speak to Eli, and if Owen kept the notes or the phone calls were recorded that will show a pattern of behavior. Unfortunately not enough of one for them to arrest Eli. At this point I don't even have enough evidence for a restraining order. I return home disheartened, afraid for my life and family, and hoping Owen and I can work through this.

I tell Adam I'm going to shower and he turns the TV on as he gets out his phone. I'm in the shower so long that the water begins to turn cold, and it's very hard for our waterless tank to do that. I finally get out and pull on my robe, I hear noises in the kitchen, and smell food being made. Hoping that it's Owen and not Adam I don't bother getting dressed, and am happy to see my husband home and cooking dinner.

"Hi," I say leaning in the entry way cautiously.

Owen sets down the wooden spoon he was stirring with and comes to me. Tilting my chin up to gently place his lips on mine, "Hi. I'm sorry about last night, about losing my temper, I was angry, but that was no excuse to push you."

"I'm okay, you had every right to be angry."

"I still am, and I hate thinking about it, knowing you were touched by another man. It's going to be a long hard road, but I'm also not willing to lose you. I'm willing to work at it if you are."

"Yes, of course I am, I don't want to lose you either."

"I love you Clare, with all my heart. It will take time, but I think we can get past this. Dinner will be ready soon, you should go get dressed or I'll want to eat something else," Owen grins and I giggle.

We share another passionate kiss and I turn around smiling, it's the first good and hopeful thing to happen all week. I walk back to the bedroom, turn on the light and go into the closet to get out clothes. I start pulling clothes out of my drawers and then I hear a crashing sound from the kitchen.

"OWEN? YOU OKAY?" I call as I get my panties on. I'm completely expecting him to call back that he's fine and dropped a pan or something, but there's only silence. "Owen?" I call again leaving the closet with panties on and pulling my robe tight once more.

Still silence, I can just see the kitchen down the hall, and horrifyingly I see Owen's feet lying on the floor. My first thought is he slipped and hit his head and I begin running toward him. Before I get there Eli steps into the doorway blocking my path. I gasp and freeze in my tracks, Eli's sinister green eyes narrowed on me. He's red in the face and enraged, yet looking at me with an obsessive malevolence like a cat toying with a trapped mouse.

"You're mine, I'm your soulmate not him!" Eli's venomous voice hisses out of his lips and makes me shiver.

"What did you do to my husband?" I ask choking on the words as they leave my throat.

"He's not dead, but you will be gone by the time he wakes up. If you can't see that you're my soulmate and be with me, then no one else will have you."

Eli intends to kill me or kidnap me, I'm not sure, either outcome is not good. I have nothing to fight with right now, so I turn and flee. Running for my life, back to the bedroom, maybe I can lock the door and get out a window. Hope that I can get help and he won't return to the kitchen to kill Owen.

I turn, but Eli follows, he's close on my heels and I can't quite make it to the bedroom before he catches me. He grabs my robe tugging me back with jerking force and slams me into the wall. The force is enough that the wind is knocked out of me and I struggle to breathe.

"You belong to me Clare you are mine, why can't you see that?" Eli's voice is somehow malicious and pathetically pleading.

"I'm married Eli, you knew that, our affair never should have happened. It was a mistake I never should have made."

"STOP CALLING IT A MISTAKE IT WAS NOT A MIS…"

I cut off Eli's yelling by kneeing him in the testicles as hard as I can. He crumples to the floor and I run to my room, I don't even think about closing and locking the bedroom door. I'm just running for the window and hoping I can get out. I reach the window and start opening it when I'm grabbed from behind again. Eli grabs my arm and tosses me to the bed, he pins me down with a hand at my throat and pulls a knife from his back pocket.

"You are mine, my soulmate, if I can't have you in this life then I'll have your soul. We're like Romeo and Juliet," Eli says putting the knife at my throat. He presses the knife to my throat and I whimper as I feel it pierce my flesh. He begins slowly dragging the knife across my neck opening the flesh and muscle. Tears pouring from my eyes as I'm sure that I'm about to take my last breath. I close my eyes thinking of Owen and Lucian.

"GET AWAY FROM MY WIFE," Owen roars and I open my eyes as Eli is wrenched off of me. Eli is still clutching the knife and Owen tosses him to the floor.

My husband looks at me as Eli hits the floor, Owen takes off his shirt putting it on my bleeding neck. He looks back at Eli just as Eli makes an animalistic grunting scream and lunges at Owen with the knife still in Eli's hand. Owen moves and grabs Eli's arm, they start to wrestle, but Owen kicks Eli's leg sending him flying back towards the wall. Eli scrambles trying not to hit the wall, loses his footing and falls forward. He makes a groan and a wheezing gurgle and then his body goes limp.

Owen kicks Eli's arm hard enough to roll the body over. Eli fell on his knife and stabbed himself in the chest. He's dead, bleeding on our floor now, and yet I begin shaking and crying. Owen brings me into his arms holding me close.

"It's over, he's dead, we're okay," Owen tells me. I nod against his chest but I can't speak. "I need to call 911, that cut on your throat is pretty bad, and I probably need to see a doctor myself," Owen tells me and begins to get up but I grip his shirt and hold him tightly.

"I love you Owen," I wheeze out between tears, "I love you with all my heart. I'm so…so sorry," I tell him but it's hard to speak.

"Shhh, don't talk anymore. I love you too Clare and I wasn't going to lose you. I love you far too much to lose you," Owen says before placing a tenderly loving kiss on my lips.

**And fade to black…nice cinematic ending for you. I hope you enjoyed this story, replacing this will be **_**"Evil is Alive and Well" **_** and replacing **_**"Why Do I Want Him Still?" **_**is **_**"Passion at First Sight"**_**. Many many thanks to all that voted for what should replace **_**"Why Do I Want Him Still?"**_


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